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Let me preface this by saying there is not much to do in England when you’re hungover on a Saturday in December.  It’s cold, it’s rainy, there’s no Football or Futbol, on TV.  Actually, being hungover has nothing to do with it, there’s just not much to do during the hours you’re NOT drinking.  Anyway this isn’t a rant about not liking England, so let’ get back on track.After flipping past 5 episodes of Friends reruns on different channels (Friends is literally on 24 hours a day here), I stumbled on a show featuring this girl.  Look at the picture… just take it all in.

Ahhhh Hannah… Sooo Hot

So hot.  She’s latin or indian or some kind of spanish (actually she’s indian, greek and italian, but whatever it’s one hell of a mix).  Being hypnotized by her for about 10minutes I finally came to and realized I was watching some sort of show featuring Zooey Deschanel.  Before I could find the remote to change the channel, Hannah came back on the screen and I was stuck.  I watched the entire episode of New Girl and 5 things occurred to me:

  1. Zooey Deschanel bothers me less in this show because she knows she’s weird
  2. Hannah Simone may be my new “Hottest girl in Hollywood”
  3. This show is actually pretty funny
  4. This dude Schmitt reminds me of someone
  5. Hannah Simone is realllllly hot
Realizing that I had nothing better to do, I couldn’t get my ass off the couch from all the Tequila shots the night before, and that my computer was only 2ft away, I decided to log into my Hulu account and start from the beginning with New Girl.  I ended up blowing through the first season over the next two days, and had to accept that this show is actually pretty good; not to mention I realized exactly who Schmidt reminds me of (I’ll come back to this in a minute).
New Girl is kind of like a combination between Friends and Reality Bites, but for today’s 30 year old.  It features 3 guy roommates who were friends since College: Schmidt, Nick, and Winston (who replaced Damon Waynes Jr. after the pilot), and their new craigslist roommate Jess (Zooey D).  Jess has just been cheated on by her hippie boyfriend and moves in with the 3 guys.  Jess is a teacher, who sings to herself, dresses weird, and is socially awkward but totally comfortable with it.
Nick, definitely built in the mold of Jason Segal in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, is a law school dropout who is broke and bartending and totally bitter over the breakup with his ex-girlfriend.  Nick is smart, but because he lets girls destroy him, he can’t get his shit together anywhere else in life.  He’s the sarcastic, drunk, underachieving one of the group.
Winston is a former basketball player in europe (not very believeable), who is trying to come to grips with not playing ball anymore and trying to find a regular life.  Winston was a bit awkward through the first few episodes, but definitely plays the character right now.  He’s not a “token black guy” like so many shows create – he’s clearly just a regular dude they grew up with.  The basketball storyline is about the only thing stereotypical about his character.  I mean… dude likes fruity drinks.
Schmidt is their somewhat successful, former fat kid, Jewish friend.  Now 30, he has gotten in shape and developed a seriously douchey, womanizing personality.   He’s not so douchey that you hate him, but just says things that make you cringe (like who the fuck says that).  Schmidt is by far the breakout character of the show, but again, we’ll come back to him.
Finally there’s Hannah, Jess’s model friend who I didn’t think would end up playing a major role, but balances everyone out as the kind of the most normal person on the show (except that she’s a model).
Ok so the show is kind of obvious, but fairly relatable for any of my 27-35 year old single friends.  We’re too old to really get piss drunk anymore (but we do), we kind of want to be in relationships (but if we’re single still now we obviously have some kind of issues), many of us are making some kind of huge transition that our parents generation never had to make because they were all married with kids by 25 (this transition usually has to do with some new sense that we are entitled to have fun and not really work).  With that being said, what makes this show is good is the good writing, Schmidt, and THE DOUCHEBAG JAR.
The Douchebag Jar, is a place where Schmitt must put money into every time he does or says something douchey.  “The ladies love me because I’m a vaGenious” – JAR!  The jar is a constant in the show, and the denominations change based on how douchey a comment Schmidt makes.  It’s one of the best running jokes I’ve seen in a show in years.  Schmidt, who was fat in high school, is now some overly refined, fairly fit, narcissistic, womanizing, clean freak, who loves to cook and cares too much about his appearance and status.  He’s clearly a good dude, but just continues to say/do…. welll… douchey things.
And then it hit me.
I hate to admit this… seriously, it kills me.
But I realized that… the reason I was laughing at the douchebag jar is NOT because I would have been on the side of Nick, Jess, and Winston saying Jar… I would have been Schmitt (shaking my head in a moment of sad acceptance).  You know shirts too tight, too obsessive about what i eat (and letting everyone know about it), terrible social media statuses, flexing in photos… you get it.
So if you want a reason to watch this show, now you’ve got it.  Watch New Girl, and if you know me, you will definitely find Schmidt annoyingly funny… because Schmidt’s a douchebag and the more I think about it……well let me just put it like this:
If there was a douchebag jar throughout my 20’s (ok, ok and even at 30 still right now) I’d be fucking broke.  

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