Bare-Assed Saturdays – Has nothing to do with being naked and everything to do with college football, which depending on the outcome of your favorite team and/or the amount of alcohol drank, may lead to being naked.
In the inaugural edition of Bare-Assed Saturday, we channel our inner Dennis Green and yell “THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE” at our TV’s or not. Inside we’ll figure out who the hell Mark Richt really is, what the hell a Dabo Swinney is (really not important so it’s briefly covered), post a weekly (ok maybe not weekly) pic of a shirtless Steve Spurrier, get a look at how terrible Lane Kiffin’s acting skills are (amongst other things but not his smoke-show wife), a look at Brady Hoke’s instrumental skills, figure why the Notre Dame fan base is so annoying, pay our respects to the Florida and Miami offenses (may they rest in peace), and Johnny Manziel is exactly who we thought he was.
“What kinda dawg is that?”
Georgia 41, South Carolina 30
I’ll be honest, I thought Georgia was done, I thought Steve Spurrier’s Cock(s) were just gonna plow through a demoralized Bulldawg team. But this is what Mark Richt does, just when he brings the entire Georgia fan base to the edge of the cliff, he does shit like this and I’m not talking about beastiality. I’m talking about the Georgia fan base not just being at the edge of the cliff, but having one foot dangling over about to jump. Google “Georgia fan cries on the radio after loss to Clemson”. Last year, Georgia was 10 seconds away from winning the BCS (I say winning because if they beat Alabama, they definitely would have beat Notre Dame) and then they absolutely shit the bed with poor offensive clock management and then they lose to Clemson, CLEMSON! Now I understand why the Georgia fans hate Mark Richt,, forget all the 10 win seasons, he’s not who we thought he was, he’s an abusive psychopathic husband playing with our emotions. And Clemson’s OC Chad Morris is a god, head coach Dabo Swinney, not so much. It’s gonna be like Auburn all over again (good OC leaves for HC job, then former team really sucks and fires HC and hires former OC as HC, see Gus Malzahn and Gene Chizik). Like sands through the hourglass…
Washington St. 10, USC 7
I cannot, I repeat CANNOT comprehend how Lane Kiffin continues to be a head coach, not just at USC but ANYWHERE. USC losing to Wash St. is like Alabama losing to Kentucky, it should absolutely never happen. He even sucks in this commercial which reinforces that he is who we thought he was, terrible.
BYU 40, Texas 21
Hang it up Bobby Bowden, err Mack Brown.
Michigan 41, Notre Dame 30
Nothing frustrates me more than people thinking Notre Dame is good and the only thing more frustrating than that is the Notre Dame fan base itself. See Clay Travis’s column on “The 10 Dumbest Fan bases in America: #5 Notre Dame”.
This is some of the funniest shit I have ever seen, Brady Hoke is actually a musician and not a head coach.
Miami 21, Florida 16
Yuck was that ugly. The only thing worse than Florida QB Jeff Driskel is the offensive play calling for Miami. No wonder FSU head coach Jimbo Fisher never let new Miami OC James Coley call plays at FSU even though he was the “Offensive Coordinator”. James Coley is who Jimbo Fisher thought he was. Will Muschamp on the other hand, BOOM!
Texas A&M 65, Sam Houston St. 28
I really do not like Johnny Manziel but man is he a good QB. Some of the throws he made Saturday night were perfect and people should be paying him to see that. Johnny Manziel is exactly who we thought he was, an incredibly talented, athletic, Heisman trophy winning, arrogant, spoiled brat. A&M’s defense on the other hand looked the NCAA trying to “investigate” an autograph signing.
And that concludes the inaugural edition of Bare-Assed Saturdays. We hope you enjoyed it and the moral of this edition is, a hot wife overcomes all, just ask Lane Kiffin. Look at that smug asshole, just before he guts the soul out of Tennessee.