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Whew…Have you caught your breath yet? Holy nail biters. That’s what week 2 of the NFL brought me, a hand with no nails on it. Week 2 was the NFL’s version of Waiting to Exhale, although Whitney did not make a cameo all day. Four games were decided with less tha a minute to play. Thank god for the QUAD BOX!!! Some teams definitely separated themselves from the rest of the pack this week (Denver, Seattle) while other teams showed gaping holes that need to be filled with the quickness otherwise the Clowney/Manziel/Bridgewater watch will start alot earlier. Let’s breakdown another crazy week in the NFL, Jones and B style…

SO CLOSE YET SO FAR AWAY, TAMPA BAY.

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Are you starting to feel a litte bit sad for the Bucs yet? C’mon, just a smidge? I mean this team is in turmoil. First off you have QB Josh Freeman, who wants a new contract, but he is Josh Freeman, which is exactly why you can’t give him a new deal. That’s like pulling a Sanchise all over again, and I’d like to think the Tampa Bay brass knows that and are a little bit smarter than that. There is a guy named Johnny Football out there, not sure if you have heard of him, who will most likely be playing on Sunday’s next year. Freeman needs to earn that contract. He just can’t seem to get it right. Their was a players only meeting after week one! Turmoil w Schiano and Freeman being named a team captain? How in da hell does that happen? They can’t have this much discord after one week, can they? This team is stacked with playmakers. RB Doug Martin, had his first big game of the season, rushing for 144 yards. They have studs Vincent Jackson and Mike Williams on the outside. They also have a pretty stout defense, featuring a healthy Revis island. But they lost their second close “we should have won” game to the Saints this week 16-14. The Bucs should be 2-0, and instead they are 0-2 and get the 2-0 Patriots next week. Oh fun!

THERE IS NO SIBLING RIVARLY IN THE MANNING FAMILY.

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I understand that Eli Manning has two Super Bowl rings. They are both well deserved and you can’t take anything away from that. But there is no question that Big Brother reigns supreme in that family. Peyton moved to 3-0 against little brother Eli in head to head matchups as the Broncos defeated the Giants 41-23 at MetLife Stadium yesterday. Eli threw 4 pics yesterday moving his season total to 7!!!! We have only played two games folks and dude has 7 interceptions! That is not a typo! I know they were all not Eli’s fault but Chill out Eli. Are you trying to break a record for most INT’s before the World Series happens? The Giants have had 10 turnovers in two games. That just can’t happen. That is bad football. They can’t establish the run, their secondary is a mess, and the Coughlin watch is probably starting to happen about ummm now! I mean it is New York we are talking about. The only thing that is on the G-Men’s side is that the rest of the tams in the NFC East are all trying to find themselves out, because no one is dominant. So right now the division is still wide open.

THE NFC EAST WENT 0-4 YESTERDAY.

NFL: Philadelphia Eagles at Washington Redskins

Yup, that also wasn’t a typo. The once deadily, powerful NFC East wasanything but yesterday as all four teams in the division took L’s on Sunday. I just mentioned the Giants beat down above, but what is wrong in Washington? The Washington Redskins continued to play confusing, uninspired football and got manhandled by the Green Bay Packers at Lambeau Field 38-20. Now I know it’s tough to go into the “frozen tundra” and play the Packers, especially when Aaron Rodgers looked like he was playing a game of Madden on Xbox and EVERYONE was open. Rodgers threw for a career high 480 yards and 4 TD’s as he completely disected the Resdskins secondary. For some reason, the Redskins continued to not play football in the first half again. This is the second week in a row where they failed to even show up for the first two quarters. This one was over midway into the second. The box score will shows that RG3 played decently (26-40, 320 yds, 3 TD’s and 1 INT) but you can’t let your team be down triple scores going into halftime. Their defense just isnt that good. They have major issues in the nation’s capital, major. Fans in Philly can now come back to life. It is now definitely noted that Chip Kelly is an offensive genius. The Eagles are playing with such a pep in their step on offense that you may have to hit the rewind button just to keep track of all that they are doing on offense. Mike Vick looks like an All-Pro (23-36, 428 yards, 2 TD’s 0 int’s) and so does his homie Desean Jackson (9 catches for 193 yds and 1 TD) but their defense can’t stop a nose bleed. The Eagles lost 33-30 to the San Diego “yeah we have life and should be 2-0 when everyone thought we wouldn’t win 5 games” Chargers to spoil their home opener. Phillip Rivers, dialing back to his 2006-2008 Rivers years was unstoppable yesterday going 36-47, for 419 yards and  3 TD’s. Chip needs to figure out that defense quick. I am not sure that this team will be able to continue scoring at this rapid pace. And he also needs to be a better manager of the clock. Sometimes it’s okay Chip to milk the clock a little bit. You can’t win every race forgetting about game tempo. The Cowboys are just an enigma. They lost an ugly game to the Chiefs at Arrowhead Stadium yesterday 17-16. It was the Dez Bryant show in the first half. Dez was unstoppable and ended up with 9 catches for 141 yards and a score. But Dallas continues to get absoultely nothing out of their running game, forgot about the Dez show in the second half,  and had two costly turnovers that kept the game in the Chiefs hands.

SEATTLE ARE THE BEASTS OF THE NFC WEST.

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Don’t even try to beat Seattle at CenturyLink Field. They are just unstoppable there. Did you hear how LOUD it was in that stadium? What are they pumping in the air up their in Seattle to make those fans so crazy? The 12th man is a huge advantage for that team at home for sure, but how about that defense. Good lord. The Seahawks defense is no joke. Their secondary plays lights out. Led by Richard Sherman and his big ass mouth, the Seahawks defense put on a performance for the ages last night and will give Colin Kaepernick nightmares for weeks. Kaepernick was 13-28 for 127 yards, 0 TD’s and 3 bad picks, as Seattle manhandled the 49ers 29-3 last night on Sunday Night Football. Russell Wilson didnt have to do much because Marshawn Lynch was on a mission last night (28 carries for 98 yards and 2 TD’s) and the defense would not be questioned. Seattle looks like the most complete team in the league along with Denver, and they are missing top wideout Percy Harvin. Imagine if he was around? Yikes.

THE DOLPHINS MIGHT HAVE A LITTLE SOMETHING SOMETHING BREWING IN SOUTH BEACH.

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What a difference a week makes huh? New Dolphins WR Mike Wallace was having a Kristin Cavallari “Hills” esque breakdown last week after not being thrown the damn ball.  Maybe he spent to much time reading T.O.’s book on the offseason. Well, Mad Mike must have gave Ryan Tannehill a copy of his book this week because he was targeted 11 times and made the most of the new found romance between himself and the former Texas A&M QB. Wallace had 9 catches for 115 yards and 1 TD as the Dolphins beat the Colts 24-20 in Indy. What is suprising about the Dolphins is that their defense is no joke. Their front seven can get after the QB and their running game is starting to get together. They will be the team that ends up challenging New England for the division.

SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY, THE TEXANS ARE 2-0.

Houston Texans v Tennessee Titans

Maybe there is a little magic floating around this Houston Texans team. For the second week in a row they have squeaked out a victory. Maybe it’s true that it’s not how you start the game but how you finish. Or maybe not. The Texans are definitely living by that mantra. They came back down three scores last week to beat San Diego, and they survived a vailant effort from the Tennesse Titans this week to win in OT. This win almost didn’t happen however as kicker Randy Bullock missed 3 chances to win the game with his leg.  Houston’s powerful running attack led by Arian Foster (19 carries for 79 yds 1, TD) and Ben Tate (9 carries for 93 yds) continue to give teams fits and Houston pulled out a close one.

RON RIVERA, YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY ON THE HOT SEAT.

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Carolina Panthers head coach Ron Rivera is now officially on the hot seat. It’s so hot that he may need a Miley Cyrus diversion to happen in Charlotte so the people in Carolina country can start talking about something else. The Panthers fall to 0-2 with a devestating loss to Buffalo 24-23 in Orchard Park yesterday. Killa Cam Netwon didnt play bad (21-38 for 229 yds 2 TD’s 1 INT) but didn’t do enough to stop a well balanced Buffalo offense. The Bills definitely have something with the kid out of Florida State. This is the second straight week that rookie QB EJ Manuel played well and this week he got his team a W. He was poised in the clutch and threw the game winning TD to a wide open, and I mean WIDE open Stevie Johnson with no time left for the win. Those are the breakdowns that Carolina can’t have. You have to cover the opposing teams number one wideout with the game on the line!!! DUHHH!

BEST OF THE REST.

Matt Ryan looks great at home. Ryan threw for 374 yards and 2 TD’s in Atlanta’s 31-24 win over St. Louis. Baltimore won 14-6 over Cleveland in this week’s snoozefest. To make matters worse, Ray Rice got injured. How is Baltimore going to score points this year? Confused. Chicago Bears defeated the Vikings 31-30 at Soldier Field yesterday. Jay Cutler was on point throwing for 3 TD’s in the win. But what was up with his hair in his post game press conference? Does he think he’s Brody Jenner? Relax with the hair gel Cutler. And he wonders why he always gets clowned in the media. Arizona got the first win of the Bruce Arians era as the Cardinals defeated the Lions 25-21 in Phoenix. The Lions may have lost RB Reggie Bush for some time as he left the game with a leg injury. Oakland got their first win of the season as they ran all over the Jags in the Black Hole. The Raiders won 19-9. The Darren McFadden-Terrelle Pryor show was on full effect yesterday as the two rushed for a combined 179 yards in the win. Verdict is still out about Pryor as a passer but he is definitely giving Oakland fans something to believe in with his supreme athleticism.

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