How important is location when it comes to dating? Just like real estate, location is EVERYTHING. Let’s just say Hoboken is not Park Avenue when you are single.
After months of recovering from a devastating breakup with the man I thought I was going to marry, the reality of my situation hit me. I was living in my suburban hometown in South Jersey where all the men are taken or friends with my ex. Even if there were eligible men, where would I find them? Sitting at the bar at Ruby Tuesday’s or Chili’s on a Friday night? I would without a doubt require a few drinks to even contemplate the idea to step a foot into one of those places. Risking a DUI in hopes of finding Mr. Right (Mr. New Jersey) at a frozen margarita happy hour just didn’t seem plausible or appealing.
That’s when I made the big girl power move to Hoboken, NJ. The possibilities seemed endless. In a city with a 2 mile radius, there is little need for a car. I walk to the grocery store, bars, gym and nail salon. New York City is 20 minutes away at best, depending on whether I take a bus, ferry, or train.
For most reasonably attractive people in their early 20’s, Hoboken is like Disneyland. Bar crawls, theme nights, happy hours, Sunday Fundays, St. Patty’s Day parades, street fairs, concerts on the pier, Spa Diner at 4am, any excuse to get together, meet more people and get drunk. It was all so alluring. At 30 years old, I then snap out of it, look down at the floor full of napkins and realize I am standing alone in Green Rock at 3am on a Tuesday. Every guy is 25, pushing 26. What in the HELL am I doing here?
Social Media delivers a hardcore dose of reality. Scrolling through my Facebook feed hung over at work obviously, I realize everyone is getting engaged, married, or having kids. This is when relocating uptown now becomes absolutely necessary where the over 30 & still fabulous crowd gravitates. Or so they say! I even surrendered my pride and gave online dating a chance (what a joke), on several different sites. You can’t just do one; this act of desperation is a go big or go home type of situation. At this point I find myself all over the place due to my severe case of FOMO, fear of missing out. I’m now on a first name basis with every bartender and bouncer uptown and I realize it’s the same cycle just ten blocks up. Online Dating has now become the blob of Hoboken and the creeps I am trying to get away from keep haunting my life.
Time to put on my sassy pants and put NYC into the mix, praying for a game changer. By the fifth $60 cab ride home at sunrise, I became discouraged. I was once told (obviously by a guy with no balls) a group of attractive women come off as unapproachable. Are we now supposed to go out by ourselves? Sorry I am not sorry for being pretty. There are so many things wrong with the way guys approach girls these days. You can’t approach a good looking girl in a bar but you can POKE them on Facebook, send a text message, swipe them HOT on Tinder. What happened to a guy asking a girl out for dinner? It seems everyone is just trying to get it in, not trying getting to know each other. That might be okay for some people, but for this 32 year old– not going to fly.
It’s now becoming obvious that while Hoboken is convenient for getting around, it’s not so great for meeting new faces. So until then I will sit on my couch on Willow Street and wait for Prince Charming to hopefully buzz my door and hand me my glass slipper (or glass of wine).