I”m not one to usually bitch about Mother Nature’s hormonal issues, but I’m at my wits end with this insanely terrible winter that we are having. Is anyone else dying from a severe case of the winter storm blues?
The polar vortex has got us all in an insane chokehold. I mean a sedative, some xanex, laughing gas, endless ice cream, a game system set with every fun game imaginable, 24 hour Netflix streaming, movie buttered popcorn, and a handle of Jameson can’t even cure these winter storm blues. It’s maddening what this country, primarily patrons in the Northeast, have had to deal with this winter. And to make matters worse, the fucking groundhog saw it’s shadow, so now we get 6 more weeks of this hell hole.
Last night freezing rain, sleet, and snow continued to fall in the Northeast. It’s a freaking mess outside. Thousands of people along the east coast are stuck without power. Whether you have called your winter storm Herclues, Nika, Snowmageddon, or the Polar Vortex, one thing that’s for certain is that this winter has been an absolute nightmare for all.
If you live in a highly populated area like I do, you may be dealing with these issues…
-An abundance of snow banks
-Overcrowded buses and trains for mass transit
-A surplus of women’s Hunter boots
-Wet feet every day…hello hypothermia
-Sweating issues when you get to work from overlayering because it’s been so god damn cold out
-Dream overload of beaches and warm places
-Too many North Face Chinchilla Rabbit Fur coats
-A permanent frown from walking through crap day in and day out
Word on the street is more snow is expected to come on Sunday to this area! Can’t we get a freaking break? What was so ironic about the Super Bowl just being in our backyard in northern New Jersey was the fact that on that one Sunday, the weather was the nicest it has been in about six weeks, and it was in the freaking 40’s. It was in the teens all week long as the city celebrated the NFL for Super Bowl week, and the day after, Feb 3rd, was yet another snow storm. Go figure.
And it’s not just the Northeast that has been impacted. This weather has taken a toll on the whole country. This winter has just been brutal for the midwest and even parts of the south. You may have heard about what happened in Atlanta a week ago. That whole city shut down, and the amount of snow that fell there was nothing. But that area wasn’t equipped to deal with the conditions which made Hotlanta a complete shit show as the snow and ice fell. Many areas have already reported to they have reached capacity regarding funds for extreme weather condition. There is a salt shortage going on now in the Northeast due to the heavy amount of salt being used for deep freezes and winter storms impacting roadways. The fun just never seems to stop. The roads are really dangerous when we experience weather like this. People need to be extremely cautious while driving in adverse conditions.
Atlanta (week of 1/27/14)
So yeah, I’m sorry that I am in full out bitch mode, but enough is enough already. I’m over this snow. I want to move to Belize and open up a tiki bar on a beach and play the ukulele and never see snow again or ice for that matter, unless it’s in my cocktail.
Stay safe everyone.
Newark, New Jersey
St. Joesph, Missouri
Mountain Home, Arkansas
Union Square, New York City