Welcome to our first post by “Snacks After Sundown”, a food blog that reminds us we make some interesting eating decisions when the sun goes down or put another way…after consuming a lot of alcohol! Snacks is written by a 24 year old female, who travels all over eating some of the strangest food combinations because she just can’t account for her late night taste buds. Snacks keeps her identity anonymous because…well… it can’t be a good look for her professional colleagues to know she is capable of eating like a drunk frat guy on dare.
My late night food cravings have led me to make more interesting decisions than alcohol has. Sometimes my desire to cover a bagel with cheesy gravy fries then dip it all in marinara sauce and top it off with some bacon is so strong and socially unacceptable that I run away (See Irish Exit) from whatever fun thing I’m doing just so I can sit alone and devour in peace. Maybe you’ve never felt this wild calling to disregard everything and everyone for some late night eating, but if you do, here are some things that I’ve already gone through so you can know better. You read correctly, I’ve only done these things for the greater good.
1. Stick to Your Own Room Service
Yes, occasionally I used to steal left over room service in hotels. Come on, you know you have or at least you’ve wanted to. This has always been difficult for me but I learned to break the habit young. After my friend and I woke up to see the pizza in the hallway that we thought looked perfect the night before, I vowed to stop stealing half eaten room service. Just let your imagination run wild. Sometimes you pass your neighbors door and they just left out a perfect half of a grilled cheese and even the fries look untouched. But they were touched. For all you know these freaks licked every single fry then arranged them to look like a perfect masterpiece that just came out of the kitchen. Then for good measure they probably sprinkled some cigarette ash on top to look like pepper. They’re in the same state as you so just keep moving.
2. Never Follow Strangers to Food
You know not to follow strangers in the daytime, but the rules of life get blurry at night. Sometimes a stranger will realize that you’re hungry and you have no interest in speaking to them until they tell you about that deli under their apartment that has the best bacon, egg and cheese that you will ever try. I can almost guarantee that said stranger’s final goal is not to feed you and they’re probably lying about their access to quality late night eats. One night in D.C. I was crossing the street to get a Jumbo Slice pizza that was so close I could taste it. Unfortunately, a taxi intercepted my path and I heard talk of chicken fingers so as most would do, I jumped in. It turned out that we had mutual friends, which made me feel pretty safe. I also made sure to ask the most important question, “Are you a serial killer?” I was notified that following strangers to food would most likely make me the crazy one so I felt like that was pretty sound logic. Things definitely got weird but most importantly, my food sucked. I still think about what could have been with that Jumbo slice.
3. Ketchup is a Condiment
Ketchup becomes really fun when the night is coming to an end. I have an obsession with marinara sauce and sometimes ketchup is as close as I get so I just want to add a little tiny dab to everything. What actually happens is that I have no control over that sneaky goop and ketchup becomes my meal. I become a little too good at hitting the 57 on the glass bottle (http://bit.ly/LJeUY0). Sometimes I leave the restaurant looking like I got into a serious accident and my friends walk away with some great photos to Instagram. Use with caution.
4. Late Night Taste Buds Are Different
My biggest pet peeve is food disappointment. I hate when I can’t wait for something to taste incredible and it doesn’t or the restaurant just completely ran out of the only meal that you came there to eat in the first place. Sadly, I disappoint myself. Sometimes I forget that the things I want for lunch do not taste good after a few drinks and vice versa. I have some fancy friends that like to trick me into going to a certain eatery that stays open until 4AM in New York City and genuinely is incredible at all other hours. I fall for it every time but I always leave knowing that mixing the raw bar with the fried chicken was a mistake.
5. Always Ask for Utensils
This is the most important advice that I could give you. You might think that if you order food that requires utensils then they will probably arrive. YOU’RE WRONG. This is the middle of the night. There are absolutely no rules. One night, I came back to my hotel room and decided that I needed lasagna. After begging the kitchen to just heat something up followed by an hour wait, the sound of room service arriving was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. I poured some water, opened up that metal lid then searched for a fork. I could literally hear the hotel staff in hysterics as they wondered what I would do since nobody was answering the phone but the joke was on them. My fingers became large clumsy forks that spooned the meaty pasta into my palms, straight to the goal.
Follow the rest of my late night adventures on instagram @SnacksAfterSundown
*This is my first of many posts that I will be contributing to Jones and B about the most delicious, most anticipated and definitely most unique eating hours of the day. I have always had a strong love for food but there is something special about my culinary experiences after the sun goes down (or maybe is still up if I’m in the vicinity of a boozy brunch). I will continue my quest to find cheesy, saucy, carb-filled goodness in every corner of the world and I hope that you enjoy reading about it.