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And I am a provocative and shameless shock humor blogger navigating my way through the dating landscape in what is often classified as America’s sexiest city – Miami.  I am sarcastic, overly abrasive and unapologetic. Despite writing like an uninhibited, uneducated little bitch, I do know what I am talking about. I have a Masters of Science in Education with a specialty in a Marriage and Family Therapy Program. I am a certified Life Coach and coach clients through their hookups and breakups. I, myself, am nonchalant towards dating and monogamy. I am mainly interested in having fun and entertain myself with my own sexuality. I tend to overdo things (including men) and I am an epicurean and hedonist, ignoring and dismissing the painful side of life and love and focus solely on the pleasurable things in life. I accredit this to my sweet exes (relationships and flingships alike). They have taught me a few paramount things about life, love and getting what you want. They have taught me not to take this thing called “life” too seriously, how to get away with murder and how to give a mean blowjob. Ever since, I have been on a journey of sexual exploration and self-sabotage for your reading pleasure. I don’t fit the mold. I see the world, a little unusually, I suppose. In fact, nothing is tragedy if you can laugh at it. Have some fun. Better to get fucked than fucked over. Never settle. Life is too short because we wait too long to start living it. Live a little. If you’re looking for some touchy-feely “respect yourself and your body” bullshit, call my mother. I’m here to tell you to go ahead and do something bad, if it feels good.

If you share this post, I will buy you a donkey. I suck at Email. I am OK at Twitter. Facebook is my bitch. I am also on Instagram.

Xx

Jessica Bari

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